The SuperSecret Girlfriend Of Edward Cullen
by erinjoy29
Summary: All human. This is the story of how Emmett Cullen manages to enlighten everyone that Edward and Bella are having a secret relationship. So what if he didn't actually know who Edward's secret girlfriend was? He's still taking credit. Romance/Drama/Humor.


Average days start out just that way. Average. The children in the Cullen household wake around 6, head down to breakfast prepared by their attentive mother Esme, eat like the teenagers they are and then go back upstairs to get ready for school. They then get into one of their cars and drive to Forks High.

This morning was not one of those mornings. The Cullen household woke around 6, they went downstairs and ate their breakfast, and they headed back upstairs to get ready for school.

With one difference.

Yesterday afternoon, Emmett Cullen's sink was broken. Nothing too bad, it just wouldn't provide running water, which was ironic because the reason it had to be turned off was because it flooded his entire bathroom in the first place; so while he was waiting for it to be fixed, he was forced to use his siblings' bathrooms. When Alice refused to let him anywhere near her sink he was left with the option of Edward's or nothing...

Edward was having a great day. The sun was shining, he'd had a great night last night and he woke up on the right side of the bed. Breakfast was great and had put him in yet another great mood for the day. He was in the shower when he saw the door open to reveal his older brother.

**Emmett POV**

Edward was a little shocked at first, which was acceptable considering I had just walked in on him naked. I proceeded to complain about being blinded even though I was the one who did the walking in without knocking. He deserved it.

Edward quickly grabbed a towel, as he was actually finished, and proceeded to exit the shower.

"What the hell are you doing in here!?" he screamed.

I looked a little embarrassed, "I need to use your bathroom. You know, mine's broken. I didn't know you'd be in here."

"You didn't know I'd be in here?" Edward asked in a flat tone, "_My_ bathroom? _Really_?"

"Sorry man. Get out though, I really need a shower."

Edward stared.

I made a shoo-ing motion with my hands.

Edward stared.

I began undressing.

Edward made a quick exit.

I laughed to myself and continued undressing before turning the shower back on. As I was bathing I couldn't help but think to myself that Edward was acting a little strange. He'd actually not been that embarrassed about being naked. Which was weird for Edward. I liked to think it was because my virgin brother is a little nervous being naked around people. But today he wasn't. Hmmm...

I continued bathing and began washing the shampoo out of my hair. I was almost done when I opened my eyes and noticed something on one of the shelves in the shower. Something I didn't notice at first because I wasn't familiar with being in someone else's shower. In my own shower it was normal; but _condoms_ in Edward's shower was ludicrous.

I stared at them with a puzzled expression. Why would Edward need condoms? I reached out and picked one up. Empty. Why would it be empty? Unless... No! No way! No freakin way!

"Holy shit!"

"Emmett, watch your language!" yelled Esme from downstairs. My mother heard everything.

"Sorry Mum."

I was confused. Amazed, but confused. Edward didn't have a girlfriend as far as we knew. He certainly hadn't mentioned it. He wasn't hanging around with her at school; that was for sure. He spent every lunch time with me, Alice, Alice's boyfriend Jasper, my girlfriend Rosalie and Bella. We've been sitting together for years.

So who was this girl? I hopped out of the shower and looked around Edward's bathroom. There was something different about it. Something suspicious. It was neat. Girlishly neat! Edward's secret girlfriend was taking over his bathroom! There was an extra toothbrush on the bench-top next to the sink, a pair of earrings in a little cup-like thing I didn't know the name of, and when I opened the cabinet... Tampons! Girl products!

"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh"

"Emmett, what's wrong?" came Edward's voice from the hallway. He was polite unlike me and did not just barge in on people.

"Ahem." I replied, clearing my voice after my embarrassing scream, "Nothing, thought I saw a... ummm... toenail clipping?"

"Okaaay? Anyway, we're leaving and we're taking Alice's car. Take your own today."

"Okay."

I turned back to the cabinet with a horrified expression. This wasn't just a secret girlfriend, this was a secret _wife_! How had this gone undetected for however long it had been going on? I was starting to have some ideas.

I finally got dressed for school and went to grab my keys, when I noticed another set of keys next to mine. Edward's keys. To Edward's car. Edward's car that probably has clues!

I did the only reasonable thing I could think of. I stole Edward's keys and proceeded to unlock the Volvo. Sitting in the driver's seat, I looked around. _If I were a clue to who Edward's secret girlfriend is, where would I be?_ I began digging through the car. The console had more condoms. Nice to know. The glove compartment had a few in there too. Along with a note!

_Hey handsome,_

_I can't wait for tonight._

_Let me know what time everyone's asleep._

_Love, Me._

Holy crap! That explains it. She sneaks over when everyone is asleep, that's why she has stuff in his bathroom and probably has stuff in his room too. This is great! I have to find out more. I stopped for a minute and noticed there was a charm on his keys. What on Earth? A little charm in the shape of a bird? I think it's a duck, or maybe a goose. This is new... indecipherable, but new. Probably from _her_!

Crap. I dropped the keys. Where did they go? Where did they go? Ahhh... here they are. Along with something else...

Underwear.

Edward has women's underwear in his car. Lacy. White. Underwear.

A big smile spreads across my face as I pocket the underwear and drive to school. Today is gonna be great.

I park the car next to Alice's car and get out. I walk inside the doors of Forks High and notice everyone is already in homeroom. I figure since I'm already late I'll have some fun. I go to Edward's locker and hang the underwear off the door. I grin to myself and head to the door two metres away to join the gang.

The teacher looks up when I come in but doesn't say anything. I take my seat next to Rose and smile brightly towards everyone else. Edward looks scared, so does everyone else actually.

"Hey guys. How's everyone been lately? Had a good morning? How about last night? Did everyone have a nice night last night?"

They all looked at me weirdly.

"What?" I questioned after a minute.

"Baby, are you alright?"

"I'm fine Rosie. Just having a fantastic day."

"Emmett," asked Edward, "Why have you got my keys?"

"I drove your car today."

"..."

I handed him his keys with a big smile. He looked scared. Hehe, this is fun.

"Why did you drive my car? Your bathroom is broken, not your car."

"Ahhh, but while I was in your bathroom, I realised we aren't as close as we used to be."

"You thought the best way to get closer to me was to drive my car?" Edward asked slowly.

"Yep," I said popping the 'p', before grinning at him widely.

He looked puzzled for a moment. Then he started looking afraid again.

"Oh dear god. You _know_?"

Everyone turned to Edward, before looking to me for a response. I kept grinning, before managing to turn my grin even more devilish. And that's when he knew he was screwed.

"I can explain," He rushed to say, "It's not what you think."

"So you're not sexually active?"

Everyone's eyes bugged out of their heads as they turned towards Edward. They appeared to be just as surprised as I was.

"I... I uhh... well... it's like this... ummm..." he stuttered before being cut off by the bell.

"We'll discuss this at lunch. I'm sure we'd all like to know who popped your cherry little brother. Now let's go get our books from our lockers. Yours first I think Eddie-kins!"

He looked a little scared, with good reason, when I made a big deal out of the lockers. We walked outside, Edward hesitant, and I heard a gasp when we saw his locker. I laughed as he ran forwards and shoved the underwear in his pocket.

The entire group was laughing. I couldn't help myself; the look on his face was priceless. He turned towards me and turned red. Haha. This is so much fun. His mouth started opening and shutting like a fish.

"Edward, you have to tell us who this girl is! I mean, those panties are sexy; so sexy that it looks like something Rosie picked out."

Rosie gasped loudly and covered her mouth, her eyes looking straight at Edward. "No way Edward! I knew I'd seen those before! And _you_!" she said to Bella, "How could you not tell me you needed sexy underwear to seduce _Edward_?"

"Bella!" I yelped, "You're the wife who's taken over the bathroom!?"

Everyone looked at me a little oddly. I suppose that's fair, my comment was only understandable to me, Edward and Bella.

"She's not my wife Emmett," Edward stated, "She's my... ummm... well I suppose she's my... we just have sex... occasionally... a few times a week..."

"Nice Edward," said Bella, "I'm something you can't even define. That's _real_ nice. Apparently this meant a lot more to me than you."

She walked off. We all turned to Edward.

"What just happened?" Edward asked.

"I'll tell you what happened," I said, "You just screwed things up badly with Bells. You're such a jackass; I thought you were in love with her or something after seeing all that shit in your bathroom and the car. I mean, that note man, she used the word 'handsome'; you don't do that unless you really care. And she has tampons! Tampons! They are in your little cabinet which means you still like to have her around when you're _not_ having sex. I'm sorry for bringing this shit up today, I never thought it was Bells, if I had, I would have just asked you about it later. But now, I just want to know what the hell is wrong with you?"

Everyone was silently staring at us.

"I love her."

"Yes Edward, we know that, now what are you going to do to fix this?" I asked kindly.

"Ummm... I'm going to apologise. Sorry for not telling you guys, but we were just screwing around to start off with and we didn't want to tell you guys in case you told us it was wrong what we were doing. I mean, it was just a 'friends' thing when it started, at least that's what Bella said. I have to go talk to her, I feel like it's wrong talking to you guys about this stuff before I tell her."

"Edward?" came Bella's voice.

This is so awesome. I never thought I'd actually get to see this day. We've been waiting for this day since they met. I should probably take a picture or something for Mum and Dad.

"Bella. I'm so sorry," He said while taking her into his arms, "I just froze up. We've never really defined us and I didn't want to say the wrong thing. I don't know about you, but I just want to say that I love you. I love you more than I love anything in the world, and ever since we started this whole thing you've become my life. So, I'm taking a chance and saying this in the hope that you feel the same way."

Bella leaned back out of his embrace and Edward looked terrified. "Edward, I love you too," was all Bella said before she slammed back into him and started kissing him like the world was about to end.

I'm actually pretty happy right now. Probably not as happy as Bella and Edward, but happy that if I hadn't decided to be a larrikin and go nosing about in Edward's business this might never have happened. I think I'm going to take credit for this one. Yeah, that sounds fair.

So we all just stood there staring at Bella and Edward; who seemed to have forgotten they are in a public place. I wonder how long this is gonna... Uh-oh. Here comes Mr Banner. Looks like this is gonna be cut short.

"What's going on-" began Mr Banner, "Edward? Bella? It's about time... but I'm afraid you kids should be in class. I won't give you detention this time, but let me be clear I won't be as lenient if there is a next time. I'm just happy this day has finally come, and today of all days, in this month. You kids sure have great timing."

"Ummm... sir?" I asked.

"Hmmm? Oh, I just won the bet is all. I bet that Edward and Bella would finally realise they were in love with each other this month and I never actually thought it would happen with the way they've managed to ignore it these past few years. Do me a favour and congratulate them for me when they finally realise they're not alone. Ms Cope owes me $50."

Mr Banner walked off down the hallway.

"Well, that was interesting," said Alice, "When do you think they _will_ realise they're in a school hallway?"

Edward and Bella continued to kiss, Edward had now backed her up against his locker.

"You guys wanna head to class?" I asked, "Or we could just keep standing here staring at them."

That question was answered when Edward's hand started sliding up Bella's skirt. I quickly took a picture and then we all averted our eyes and started walking off down the hallway.

"Nice one Emmett," said Jasper, "I'm actually not going to tell you off for being childish on this one."

"Thanks man," I replied, "I couldn't believe it when I found the condoms this morning. I was shitting myself. Never thought it was Bells though."

"Me either," said Rosalie, "I just thought she was planning for the future, I never would have guessed her and Edward were doing the nasty."

"Come on guys, they're in love. We all saw it coming. Now I say we stop talking about it and actually get to class. I can assure you that we don't want to be in that hallway for the next 20 minutes. Just a feeling I have." Alice suggested; she always seemed to know when things were going to happen. It's true she was the one who was always saying they'd get together eventually.

So we all took her suggestion and went off to class. I'm happy for Bells and Eddie-kins. I can't wait for Mum and Dad to find out. I looked down at my phone at the picture I took. I figure one last joke can't hurt. I forward the picture to Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, Edward, Bella, Mum, Dad and Chief Swan.

Ahhh, what a day.

Ten seconds later Rosalie punches me in the arm. "Emmett! What were you thinking sending that to their parents! His hand is up her skirt!"

I scratched the back of my head sheepishly.

"Oops?"


End file.
